


Spider Babies

by StarkRavingSpiders (GabesGurl)



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Crack, I am the crack queen, M/M, Peter is a precious troll, Plants, Spider Plants, and Tony loves and supports him in all his insane endeavers, even if he loves plants and talks to them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-23 06:06:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18148073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GabesGurl/pseuds/StarkRavingSpiders
Summary: Title: Spider BabiesPairing: StarkerRating: PGSummary: Peter loves his plants. This is crack with serious stuff in it. Also fluff. So…..fluffy crack? Tony and Peter are just adorable trolls and Tony supports Peter’s insanity.Word Count: 2357





	Spider Babies

Tony had been given the plant in passing by someone and Peter had watched it withering away so he’d taken to caring for it. It also gave him a reason to stop by the lab and lure Tony out without seeming like a nag. He had really taken to caring for the little spider plant.

And it was blossoming under his care, even Mr. Stark had commented on it often about how good the plant looked. It now had it’s own shelf in the corner of the lab with it’s own glow light and hydroponics pot.

Peter talked to the plant like it was an old friend and he’d even heard Tony mutter to it sometimes when he was coming and going late in the evening. He spoke to it when he was alone in the lab whispering random facts and just kind of narrating what he was doing in the lab.

At the current moment he was leaning really close as he had spied something new with his plant child. It had a long green stem coming from it and if what he had read was correct his plant was going to have spider babies soon.  
  
He smiled as Mr. Stark joined him, arms going around his waist. Voice in his ear after a soft brush of a kiss to his neck.  
  
“Whatcha looking at Petey? Is our kid doing well?”  
  
Peter grinned and turned, nestling into Tony, “Look! There’s gonna be babies!” He leaned down tugging at his lover and pointing out the offshoot.

“Babies? The plant will have babies?” Mr. Stark’s voice held a tone of disbelief that had Peter laughing and pressing a soft kiss to his lover’s lips.

“You’ll see and don’t google it! It will be a nice surprise. They are going to be so cute. We’ll have to name them.” He sighed and practically melted into Tony’s arms as his boyfriend wrapped him in a tight hug and nuzzled closer.

“I promise baby, I won’t ruin the surprise of the plant babies.” He said with a soft chuckle.

.-.-.-.  
Really Tony should have known, he really should have, because Peter was a troll. An adorable sweet baby-faced troll, but a troll all the same. So why was he so surprised when during an evening with all the other Avengers Pete decided to pull out all the stops.

They were sitting together, curled on the couch, his hands tangled in Pete’s hair and just relaxing when the younger man’s phone had gone off. He’d glanced down just in time to see a photo of Ned holding Mjölnir and couldn’t help but chuckle as Peter answered his phone.

“Ned!” He kept his voice rather low, trying to be polite and turned so he was burrowed into Tony’s chest. He couldn’t help but smile and press a soft kiss to Pete’s head and grabbed one of his legs to pull over his own. It was amazing how comfortable he was just snuggling with his once protege.

“Oh we’re going to have babies.” Peter’s voice and choice of words brought his attention back to his lover who was grinning tauntingly at Tony. Sure enough glancing up the older man could see everyone in the room’s attention was on them. The little brat was still grinning and he knew exactly what he was doing. He huffed out a laugh and buried his face in Peter’s hair.

“Oh yeah, you can definitely have one, you’ll have to learn to take care of my little baby though.” Peter was continuing and Tony couldn't help but snicker into his dark curls. He loved seeing Pete troll the hell out of the others, half the time they didn’t know if he was serious or not.

“Of course! Tony is taking good care of our baby and soon to be babies. We got him a little space all set aside and everything.” Peter sounded almost offended at the thought of him not taking care of their plant child. He glanced up to see everyone looking vaguely horrified and staring at him and Peter in shock.

Tony shook his head as Peter ended his call and snuggled deeper into his arms. He gently tugged at Peter to get him to scoot up a bit and look at him and kissed him gently. Breaking the kiss they settled into a comfortable cuddle and Tony waited for it.

“Babies? Are we going to ignore that fact that Stark and Pete are talking babies?” Clint asked of Bucky who was silent and Tony assumed he’d shrugged.

“It’s none of our business Clint. It Pete and Tony want us to know they’ll tell us.” Steve put in and Tony could feel Peter laughing into his chest. What a little shit.

“But how does it work? Does Peter lay eggs?” Sam asked rather shrilly.

Peter hummed a bit louder than needed before answering, “It’s a kind of asexual reproduction. Quite a few species do it.”

“You aren’t asexual though! If you were you wouldn’t be with Tony.” Clint pointed out helpfully. Tony’s head shot up at that in time to see Natasha smack the back of the archers head hard.

Peter had frozen though and pulled himself out of his arms and sat up. Tony followed and wrapped himself around Pete.

“Did you seriously just suggest that if I were asexual Tony wouldn’t love me anymore?” There was a waver in Peter’s voice and Tony glared darkly at everyone daring them to say anything else.

“Our relationship is more than just sex and Tony would love me no matter what,” Pete turned to him, eyes somewhat glassy, “Right?”

Hearing how small Peter’s voice had gotten broke Tony’s heart and he reached out and turned Peter to him, pressing light kisses all over his face. “Of course, _Cuore mio_ , I love you. We would have fumbled our way through it and gotten together no matter what. I promise you.”

“Of course you would have, Peter, don’t worry Clint is just an idiot and needs more sensitivity training and I’ll make sure he gets it.” Natasha promised darkly which caused Peter to smile slightly.

His lover stood, pulling him with him, “I think we’re going to go, I think I need to go and snuggle with Tony alone.”

“I’ll be there in a second, Sweetheart.” Tony kissed Peter again and watched him walk out the the room. He turned to Clint, annoyance and anger sweeping through him, “Do not say any of that shit to Pete again. Got it?” He waited for the meek nod and followed his Lover. He knew Hawkeye hadn’t meant anything but he often spoke without thinking and Peter might not be as insecure as he had as a teen but that streak still ran deeply in him. Just as it did himself, which is probably why it had struck them both so hard. For now he had a boyfriend to comfort and reassure.

.-.-.

  
Two small succulents had joined their spider plant in the lab, they’d been in the window at the place Ned was working for software design. His friend had reported no one had even glanced at them in over two months and he wasn’t even sure where they’d come from. So Peter had stolen them.

He’d left a note! Which is why he didn’t feel as guilty as he probably should. It had even said if they wanted their plants back they could email him. So now their spider plant had two sisters.  
  
The next week was the strangest and most bizarre week Peter had endured for a long time and it was also the most hilarious. He and Tony had taken to stealing away just to giggle like children at the others and it was the single most beautiful thing ever.

It had started with Steve one morning telling Peter to eat up a little more and almost constantly hounding the spider on how much he was eating.

Bruce stared at him calculatingly and just huffed half the time and shook his head. He knew what he and Tony were up to and didn’t even care, just kept going about his business instead.

Bucky had become a silent stalker, just waiting around each corner for Peter and just seeming to try and make sure he was ok. He also told him a few times that he needed to nap and he would make sure nothing bad happened.

Sam was staying far away, even going as far as to inch away from Peter if they were in close quarters. Clint had taken to trying to apologize to Peter from afar. Leaving his favorite foods around in apology which honestly was pretty sweet and made Peter smile.

Meanwhile their plant child now had 7 spiderettes and had gotten so bushy it was time to harvest the babies.

He and Tony were both crowded around the plant table and Peter was gently cutting off each baby and hanging it to Tony who was placing it gently in a small cup of water with the leaves hanging over the edges. Each cup was labeled with a name on it in as Peter had named each of the little babies.

“Ok, _Bello_ , you were right. These are the cutest little babies ever. What about that one?” Tony gestured to the one Peter wasn't sure about cutting. It was the littlest and he wasn’t sure it would root like the others but he’d also named it James and it was supposed to be Bucky’s so he didn’t want to just let it go.

He debated for a moment before finally cutting the spiderette and handing it to Tony who got it situated into the last cup. Together they moved all the plants up off to the side shelf so they weren’t in the direct light of the grow light but still able to get some of the light.

Wiping his hands off he turned and wrapped his arms around Tony. “Thank you, I know it’s kind of….silly…..how attached I get to stuff like this. So just, thank you, for putting up with me.”

It was true. Sometimes he felt so immature compared to Tony and he knew people thought he was weird on the regular.

“It’s not silly, it’s something you do to relax, Sweetheart. Of course I’m going to support you and I gotta admit, I’m really warming to the little plants. There’s no putting up involved…….now maybe some putting out?”

Peter couldn’t help but grin, tugging his boyfriend in for a kiss, “I could probably be enticed to put out.” He said with a laugh.

.-.-.

Tony was flopped over the bar next to Bruce waiting for Steve and Bucky to finish cooking dinner. Sam was off doing who knows what but surprisingly Pepper and Happy had joined them after a random invite from Steve. Natasha was cleaning a knife while carrying on a conversation with Pepper. Clint was staring at the oven in anticipation, Tony swore that the archer thought with his stomach more than his brain.

“What the fuck?!” Peter’s voice had his head shooting up in concern and around the corner stomped Peter and he looked worked up.

“Who tried to kill James?”

Tony blinked and couldn’t help but grin, oh more trolling from his lover then?

Steve and Bucky had turned and Steve had raised an eyebrow at his friend, “Again?”

“I’m fine?” Bucky questioned. While Natasha raised her hand while motioning to Bucky. Pepper had face palmed too aware of both his and Peter’s insanity. When they’d gotten together she’d mentioned a few times she’d thought Peter would be a good influence on Tony and oh he had been. However it had been an oversight to not realize that Tony would actively encourage and play along with Peter’s inanity.

Peter had cut off all discussion by brandishing a very familiar cup, “Someone put James in direct sunlight! Look! He got his poor little leaf all scorched! My poor baby!”

Tony watched, entertained, as everyone seemed to clue in on what was going on, before Steve of all people raised his hand.

“Pete I’m so sorry I thought plants and sun you know? Is….he ok?” Steve hunched his shoulders a bit like he was waiting for Peter to yell at him and Bucky turned to him with a glare. “I see how it is. Trying to off me?”

Peter sighed and seemed to deflate and almost hugged the little plant before smiling, “It’s ok Steve, you didn’t know. Just Spider plants need indirect light and little James is the smallest so he got to come out of the lab.”

“I’m honestly just fucking relieved you aren’t laying eggs.” Clint chimed in and Tony finally lost his composure and laughed and laughed.

.-.-

It had been three weeks since then and a week prior Peter had carefully potted all the spiderettes with Tony’s help into small pots with labels and today was the big day. His babies were going to their new homes.

Ned and MJ each got one and while they laughed about how attached Peter was to the plants it wasn’t meanly.  
Steve was given the one he’d named Theodosia and Bucky got James. Peter had been given a big hug from both of the soldiers.

Bruce has been given Galileo and he’d seemed very happy to get the little plant. Alice had gone to Pepper who had given Peter a big kiss on the cheek as he blushed and stammered. He might hang out with her regularly and she totally ran the place but he still always felt a bit awkward when she got touchy feely with him.

The last little spiderette, named Allesandro, actually ended up tucked up in his and Tony’s room, sitting on the dresser. Tony had told him he needed more green around the compound and Peter was happy to help.

To him it was proof that his lover didn’t think his hobby and love of plants was silly. He accepted it just like he did with all of Peter, neuroses and all. And just like he accepted Tony.

It just worked.

**Author's Note:**

> Cuore mio means My Heart  
> Bello means Handsome


End file.
